Demythologize Yourself

Welcome to Peace Concepts, where we explore practical strategies for cultivating understanding, resolving conflicts, and nurturing meaningful connections. In today’s Peace Concepts post, we’ll discuss the importance of demythologizing ourselves.

Lesson from a Roman Emperor

Since ancient times, wise voices warned against the seductive lure of our own self-aggrandizing myths. It is said that whenever the Roman Emperor Trajan participated in a grand triumphal procession that was common to all the Roman Emperors, he had a servant trailing behind him whispering the word, Respes poste hominem te esse memento, which means, Look behind you. Remember, you are but a man.

This ritual powerfully countered the intoxicating praise heaped upon the empire’s rulers, reminding them that the mightiest mortals are fallible, flawed human beings, not infallible deities immune to humanity. Just as those Roman emperors needed this sobering reminder, we must all confront the myths we tell ourselves, the self-serving fictions that elevate us beyond our true capabilities and potential for growth.

What Does It Mean to Demythologize Ourselves?

No doubt, we’ve all met people who think more highly of themselves than they ought. But it may never have occurred to us that we are that person to some people. From time to time, it’s important to demythologize ourselves. But what do we mean by that? It means we have to become more reflective and critically examine our habitual tendencies to make ourselves the center of the universe, act as though we are always right, and have the all too human tendency to exaggerate or overstate the things we have done. But you may be asking, what are the myths we carry about?

The Myth of Moral Superiority

First, there is a myth of moral superiority. We tend to see ourselves as more ethical, principled, and moral than we really are. Sometimes, we judge people for the things they do when we do something just as badly. We justify our flaws and actions while harshly criticizing and judging others for similar transgressions. Let’s face it. We’re not any better than anybody else. Maybe we’re just working on it more, but let’s be careful about thinking we’re better than other people.

The Myth of Self-Insight

Another myth we carry is the myth of self-insight. We overestimate our wisdom, motivations, thoughts, and behaviors. We like to believe that we have true self-awareness and insight. But the truth is we all have our blind spots, which are obvious to those around us.

The Myth of Control

Another myth is that we are in control. We like to believe that we’re in complete control of our lives and decisions, but really, we’re subject to biases, emotions, external factors, society’s expectations, and all kinds of things that influence us. Most of us are not. in control.

The Myth of Objectivity

There’s the myth of objectivity. We convince ourselves that we are objective and that we see things as they are. But we’re no better than anybody else. Our perceptions are colored by our personal experiences, beliefs, and cognitive biases. You and I both see things the way we’ve been taught to see them. Sometimes, we think we’re unique and see ourselves as more special than we are. We think we should be given certain privileges because of how special we are, but none of us is more unique than another person.

The Myth of Consistency

We carry about a myth of consistency. We tend to think that our behaviors, attitudes, and beliefs are consistent over time. But all of us are walking contradictions. Some days, we act in one way, and others, we act in a different way. And we justify it by saying, well, the context was different. But actually, we all contradict ourselves from time to time in the way we think and act– and that’s probably a good thing because we need to change our minds occasionally.

The Myth of Rationality

Finally, there’s what we call the myth of rationality. We overestimate our logic and reason in decision-making processes. We underestimate the powerful influence of emotions and irrational factors in our lives. None of us are as logical or as reasonable as we think we are.

Embracing Authenticity

It’s important to know that demythologizing is not about discarding all the stories you have about yourself. Instead, it’s about ensuring that you present your authentic self with its doubts, questions, vulnerabilities, and uncertainties rather than presenting a false self that you think everybody else will like.

Present Yourself with Authenticity

It’s about deepening your understanding of who you are and being authentic in your presentation to others. It’s learning to love yourself despite the things that you may not like and must continually work to improve. Authenticity allows for real connection and intimacy in relationships rather than superficial interactions based upon a facade you’ve created.

Be Vulnerable

When we’re truthful about our imperfections, It permits others to be vulnerable and show up as fully themselves. And when we have a mythological view of ourselves, we present a false self that’s emotionally draining and isolating. It requires constant impression management and code-switching behaviors, which means that we act one way with one group of people and another way with another group of people, and we’re always worried about our social media and so forth instead of just being authentic and freeing up all of that mental energy for something more constructive.

Don’t Believe the False Self

When you’re not presenting your authentic self and instead present a false self you start believing your own embellished personal myths and lose ground with reality. Keeping it real keeps you anchored in the truth about your strengths and growth areas. When you pretend, you close yourself off from growth opportunities. When you own your authentic limitations, insecurities, and blind spots, you create openings to get honest feedback that can help you improve.

Practice Radical Self-Acceptance

At its core, authenticity is the practice of radical self-acceptance and self-compassion. Letting go of the need to mythologize frees you to embrace your whole, imperfect self with kindness. It’s an act of courage in a world that often wants to reduce people to simple stereotypes or personas.

Conclusion

Just as the Roman emperors needed a voice to remind them of their humility and humanity, we, too, must find the humility to demythologize ourselves. It’s the path to deeper awareness, empathy, and wisdom.

Additional Resources

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