Ever feel like conflict resolution should be an Olympic sport, with gold medals awarded for patience, understanding, and navigating those dreaded drama triangles? In this video, we ditch the scholarly models and dive into two practical approaches that’ll help you break free from dysfunctional conflict patterns and become a peacemaking champion. From tackling escape responses like “peace-faking” to mastering the “I Do, We Do, You Do” teaching method, you’ll gain actionable tools to transform even the messiest clashes into opportunities for growth and connection. So, buckle up, conflict ninjas, and prepare to conquer those interpersonal battlegrounds with newfound skills and confidence. Click play and let’s make peacemaking great again!

P.S. Share this video with your friends and family who could benefit from learning peacemaking skills. We can all create a more peaceful world together!

Podcast Summary: Essential Points

Main Topic: Conflict resolution and peacemaking, with a focus on non-empirical approaches.

Key Points

  1. Peacemaking challenges: Everyone makes mistakes in conflict, but reflecting on our contribution (even small) and humbly making things right is crucial.
  2. Conflict styles review: Recap of Rahim and Thomas-Kilmann’s scholarly work on various conflict styles.
  3. “Aha! Test” approaches: Exploring non-empirical models like Relational Wisdom 360 and The Power of TED* due to their practical value.

Relational Wisdom 360

  • Slippery Slope of Conflict: Identifies escape (peace-faking) and attack (peace-breaking) responses as dysfunctional, advocating for peacemaking responses like overlooking, reconciliation, and negotiation.
  • Peacemaker roles: Six roles (Challenger, Coach, Creator, etc.) help navigate conflict by overcoming fight/flight instincts.

The Power of TED:*

  • Dreaded Drama Triangle (DDT): Identifies three dysfunctional roles in conflict: Persecutor (blaming, angry), Enabler (doing for others), and Victim (helpless).
  • Anti-dotes: Persecutor becomes Challenger (accountable), Enabler becomes Coach (problem-solving teacher), and Victim becomes Creator (finds unique solutions).
  • “I Do, We Do, You Do” method: Effective teaching approach for fostering independence and problem-solving skills.

Both approaches aim to understand our personal contribution to conflict and encourage adopting roles that promote peacemaking instead of dysfunctional behaviors. These practical models offer valuable tools for navigating interpersonal clashes.

10 Reflection Questions over Pragmatic and Popular Solutions

  1. Identify: Which conflict style (Rahim or Thomas-Kilmann) do you find yourself leaning towards most often? Can you think of a recent example where this played out?
  2. Self-Reflection: Do you recognize escape or attack responses in your conflict behavior? How can you practice more peacemaking responses instead?
  3. Slippery Slope: Where do you usually find yourself on the Slippery Slope of Conflict? What steps can you take to move towards the peacemaking middle ground?
  4. Drama Triangle: Have you observed yourself or others playing any of the roles (Persecutor, Enabler, Victim) in past conflicts? What would be the antidote role for you in that situation?
  5. Challenger vs. Critic: How can you distinguish between offering constructive criticism and becoming a judgmental Persecutor? What language and mindset shift would be helpful?
  6. Coaching vs. Enabling: Think of someone you often “rescue” in conflict. How can you switch roles and empower them to handle things themselves using the “I Do, We Do, You Do” method?
  7. Victim Awareness: Are there situations where you tend to fall into victimhood? What steps can you take to acknowledge your own agency and become a Creator instead?
  8. Personal Responsibility: Reflect on a past conflict where you could have taken more responsibility for your contribution. What learning can you carry forward to future situations?
  9. Courage to Reflect: How comfortable are you with honestly examining your own role in conflict? What strategies can you use to overcome defensiveness and embrace self-reflection?
  10. Actionable Tools: Which specific techniques or frameworks from the podcast resonate most with you? How can you incorporate them into your daily life to promote more peaceful interactions?

These questions are designed to spark deeper self-reflection and encourage you to actively apply the concepts from the podcast to your own life.